Good Friday

Every year our church, Central Peninsula Church, has a Good Friday service where members of the congregation talk about the seven phrases that Christ spoke while on the cross.  Each member takes one saying and shares about how that saying intersects with their life.  I was asked to speak this year on John 19:28, "I am thirsty." Below is my script.  

“I am thirsty.” As Christ is on the cross in the scorching heat of the desert, he asks for relief.  Those standing nearby saw that there was a jug of wine vinegar nearby, soaked a sponge in it and raised it to Jesus with a hyssop branch.  

When we hear this cry of the Savior, as he is enduring the horrible pain of crucifixion, it stands out as the most simple, almost insignificant statement.  But, as is often the case with our Christ, the simplest things are often the richest.  He says these words to fulfill scripture – it is prophesied that Messiah will be given vinegar to drink.  He also says these words to show Christ’s utter humanity and submission.  He could have quenched His own thirst, but He allows himself to be weak.

When I read the words “I am thirsty,” I can’t help but yell out in my soul “Me too!!” I know that Christ’s thirst was physical, but when does He ever only deal with the physical aspects of our lives? Isn’t He also always concerned with our spiritual life? Isn’t He almost obsessively MORE concerned with our true nature – the nature that has a relationship with God the Father through Christ the Son?  So, as Jesus is moments away from dying on the cross, as He is feeling the burden of our sin, my sin, crashing down on Him, doesn’t it make sense that His thirst is for something much greater than vinegar? Doesn’t it make sense that the real thirst, the one that may be truly unquenchable at that moment in history is His thirst for the Father? 

In my adult life, I’ve never had a season where I’ve thirsted for the Lord more.  In the last year, I have gone from some of the greatest triumphs in my personal life – graduating from law school, passing the Bar (on the first try!), getting a job, to some of the darkest days I’ve known.  January 18 of this year, my sister in law Jamie was in a devastating car accident while serving in the Peace Corps in Kazakhstan.  She was a passenger in the back seat of a taxi, riding back to her town after a weekend with friends.  We got a call at 6 am that day and I will never be able to erase the sound of my father in law’s voice as he said those words. “There’s been an accident in Kazakhstan.  Two people were killed. Jamie is in a coma.” 

In the days, weeks and now months that have followed, I have thirsted for the Lord in a way that I did not know was possible.  On the drive to my in-laws, my soul cried out to God, wanting answers, needing His comfort.  That first night, I thirsted and longed for rest, to be able to sleep and wake up and see that the nightmare was over.  On the flight to meet Jamie at a military hospital in Germany, I thirsted for the Lord’s reassurance that Jamie’s flight was safe and that we were safe as well.  As we spent the night in spare beds in the ICU in Germany, I thirsted for the Lord’s wisdom – that we would be able to navigate this long journey that He was laying out ahead of us.  In the ICU in Washington D.C., we all thirsted for understanding.  As Jamie awoke from her coma, slowly but surely, I thirsted for God’s action – for Him to heal her, to wake her up fully.  As Jamie recovers at her hospital here, I thirst for knowledge- how am I supposed to act? How do I take care of my family? My husband? My Jamie?

But through it all, one thirst, one desire has overwhelmed everything.  I thirst for the Lord. Simply for Him to be near, to hear my cries, to know that I need Him.  For His presexxnce, His reassurance that no matter what – He is here. And as God provided an answer to Christ’s thirst on the cross, He has provided relief for our thirsts for comfort, for wisdom, for understanding.    In the sheer existence of my husband, God quenches my thirst for comfort.  In God’s provision of one of the best hospital’s for Jamie’s care, He quenches our thirst for understanding. In His scriptures, He quenches our thirst for wisdom.  

Most of all, He is ever quenching my thirst for Him.  I know now that such a deep longing will never be fulfilled this side of Heaven, but He makes Himself known over and over, and in so many ways, continually refilling my cup and slaking my thirst for Him.